Day 224 – Week 32 Understanding your body type.
So shall we get right to the results?! I weighed in at 226 this morning which makes my total weight loss 83 pounds in 32 weeks. I had a great week of eating and my clothes are fitting looser. With the Fall weather on the way I’m now walking to and from to pick my kids up from school plus I’m going to the gym 3 times a week. I’m getting more active each day and got some new workout clothes!
I had an emotional week last week. When you get this deep into a journey to turn your life around… the past, present and future come up. See, when you’re 309 pounds, you are more than likely have your walls up. For me, my past made me have walls up for at least the last 15 years. It was a layer of protection I had around myself because of the way I felt inside and my lack of understanding of how my body works. My walls protected me from the judgement, everyone’s opinion about my weight, affirmation of my lack of self worth, and let me safely live inside my bubble. The bigger I got, the bigger my walls got. I was always hiding from the world and missing out on relationships because I felt I was too fat to enjoy them. As if being morbidly obese made me less of a person or something.
Week by week, I’ve been using a sledgehammer to chip away at the walls I built so many years ago. Each pound I lost knocked another brick off. I’m at the point where the walls are low enough that I can step over them. They are no longer serving any protection for me. With all that exposure, I no longer have my safety net. If you were someone without a large social media following, it wouldn’t really be a big deal. But by documenting my weight loss journey publicly on YouTube it does open me up for some keyboard warriors and trolls. For some reason I had more than I normally do last week and I let some of the negative comments get to me. It got under my skin enough that I wanted to stop sharing my journey.
I was suddenly missing the walls I used to have and it was giving me major anxiety to be so.. exposed. I was regretting sharing my story and ready to use that delete button to take it all down from the internet and vanish. I was overreacting to the situation though. I was panicking over like 20 comments! Before I did anything stupid, I took a mini break on Friday afternoon. I stepped away from it to take time to breathe and release all the negative thoughts I had just read. I told myself to look at what really matters. I have THOUSANDS of truly beautiful, inspiring, loving comments on my channel…why am I upset about these internet trolls calling me fat, nitpicking my hair, my appearance, for saying “nutritional yeast” by accident instead of “regular yeast”, etc?
One of the doctors I follow, Dr. Berg, shared an interesting video about understanding your body type as it relates to your health and nutrition. There’s 4 body types: adrenal, thyroid, liver and ovary. I’m 100% an adrenal body type. People who typically are the adrenal type are apple shaped with smaller arms and legs, have a round face, very low tolerance to stress, crippled themselves with anxiety, and lack mental focus because they are constantly in fight or flight mode. We’re so stressed out all the time our cortisol levels is off the charts. In fact, my cortisol was so high I got tested for cushing’s syndrome. When faced with stress, those with adrenal body types tend to over-react and overthink it, which causes more stress. The cycle repeats. We basically exhaust ourselves worrying about the stress and begin to self medicate with food.
This journey has made me stronger and wiser because I can now see the signs and triggers where I was blind before. I understand my body type and how to handle situations like this moving forward. This journey has been about me finding the keys to unlock the secrets to my weight loss journey and prevent this from ever happening to me again. This one answer explains how my whole life spiraled out of control. It explains why I tried and failed so many times before. How I gained so much weight and got to 309 pounds. So when I started allowing those 20 morons to get under my skin, I had to snap myself out of it.
The second part of this is forgiveness. I admit I was mad as a hornet last Friday. The amount of hours I spend documenting my weight loss story on my channel sharing my experience to help as many people is about the amount hours of a full time job. I felt unappreciated and attacked. So naturally, I was salty about it. With that said, this channel has given me my life back. This channel has made me strong. This channel is the best thing I’ve ever done! This channel inspired me to lose 82 pounds! I’m so freaking proud of what I’ve done, especially for inspiring and motivating each and every one of you to do this with me. So I forgive all my haters. You showed me another time where I’m getting back up again, dusting myself off, and powering through.